So, Transformers 4...

Just watched it, and I thought I'd give my thoughts.

It's... okay. It's by no means a fantastic movie, but it's okay. I'm in two minds as to whether it surpasses the first movie, but it's better than RotF and DotM. It's also the darkest of the bunch.

The Plot: Several years after the Decepticon occupation of Chicago and invasion of TF3, the Autobots are now public enemy number 1. The US government are hunting them down and killing them, with the aid of a Cybertronian bounty hunter named Lockdown. A down-on-their luck Texan family find the body of Optimus Prime, who has gone into stasis lock after an escape went badly in New Mexico, and accidentally wake him up. When the government tries to claim him... things go badly. ANd then there are lots of explosions and car chases and slow motion and other Michael Bayisms and a three-headed Shockwave-looking robot and Dinobots and it's all pretty awesome.

The characters: Not going to lie, I actually gave a shit about the humans this time. Cade Yeager (Did Michael Bay see Pacific Rim as well?) is a much better character than Sam Witwicky. And Mark Wahlberg is a much better actor than Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. And Tessa is better than both Mikaela and Carly. And Shane is nowhere near as bad as all the other human sidekicks. Props there. Oh, and they actually contribute to the plot. As for the robots, Optimus has gone through a lot of shit, and he's willing to harm, but not necessarily kill, humans now. I'm in two minds about this. On one hand, good, he'll defend himself. On the other hand, seeing Optimus Prime attacking humans is a bit off. Bumblebee is less in-focus now, and I think that works, because he's actually a lot better here than he was in the last two films. Also, he's more violent. And he goes toe-to-toe with the Big Bad for a while, and manages to hold his own. THen we have the newcomers, Drift, who is a helicopter and a Veyron and a samurai and I think my brain just melted from the awesome. THen there's Crosshairs, who looks cool, but is also a complete sociopath. Meh. THe last one is Hound, who has a beard, a cigar, and a beer gut for some reason. He's also John Goodman. And he has a really kickass fight scene, protecting the humans and the cyberforming bomb from the Decepticons, even when he's out of ammunition. Oh, and his personality is pretty cool too. Ratchet also shows up for a single scene, and dies. Optimus reacts accordingly.

Then we have our villains. First up is Lockdown, a bounty hunter with mysterious motives, who intends to bring Optimus back to the ones who created him (Quintessons?). He's pretty cool, and also has a face cannon. THen there's Galvatron. He was made by the humans, using Megatron's technology. Except they accidentally reactivated his brain, and he helps them with the construction, only to turn Galvatron into his new body. THe only other notable Decepticon is Stinger, designed as a sort of anti-Bumblebee. He also looks pretty cool, but he's basically a drone.

FInally, there's the DInobots. THey show up really late in the film, and while they look awesome, they don't speak. Optimus has to defeat Grimlock in combat before they will assist, and once that's done, the Dinobots basically wreck the Decepticons.

THe writing: It's narmy as all heck. What did you expect from a Michael Bay film?

The dark stuff: Ho boy, this film is dark. Before we're even out of the first major fight scene, we've seen a human get hit by a cyberforming grenade. It's... not pretty.

Michael Bay Perversion Level: Mostly non-existent. I didn't notice any really shameful perverted shots, and Tessa gets just as beaten up from her involvement in the final battle as her father and boyfriend, unlike Carly in DotM.

Michael Bay Racism Level: I didn't really notice any ethnic stereotypes. Is he learning?


So... 


Pros:
Cool new robots
Humans that don't suck
Drift. He gets his own spot.
Soundtrack is amazing.
Visuals are great.
The robots have developed.
The setting has developed.
Scorn gets his own spot too. He's barely in the film, but he turns into a giant robot Spinosaurus. Best. Dinobot. Ever.
Not as pervy as previous trilogy.
No noticeable racism.
No wanking off the US military. There's like, one shot of an F-22 and it does nothing. Also, humans are the bad guys.
Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime, and Frank Welker as Galvatron. Fuck. Yes.
Complete lack of Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf.
John Goodman as Hound.
No toilet humour.
Lockdown is a pretty creepy villain.
Kelsey Grammer delivers a chilling performance as human villain Attinger.
They made Brains from DotM not annoying.
Megatron's revival as Galvatron actually makes him badass again. He can actually fight Optimus one-on-one again, instead of getting effortlessly curbstomped.
The designs are awesome.
Optimus Prime is riding Grimlock and wielding a fuck-off-huge sword. Not as good as Boatswords, but pretty good.

Cons:
Takes a long time to get going.
Optimus is too violent.
The ending isn't great.
Plot takes a backseat to Booooooms!
Camera cuts away from robots fighting to show humans running away.
There were several moments where the heroes should have died, but didn't.
Not enough Dinobots. Give Scorn a scene!
For a dark movie, the body count for our heroes is limited to one human (Who had already sold them out) and Ratchet.
Some might find it a bit too long.
The dinosaurs. Apparently, the Late Cretaceous extinction killed the giant Sauropods (Extinct since the end of the Jurassic), Iguanadonts (Extinct since the early Cretaceous), Psittacosaurus (Extinct since the mid-cretaceous), and Spinosaurus (Extinct since the early Cretaceous). They were also all in America, even though Spinosaurus lived in Africa (It was called Spinosaurus Aegypticus) and Psittacosaurus lived in Mongolia. Also, the one in the movie appears to be eating meat. However, in fairness, Scorn is bigger than Grimlock, and the ever-irritating Psittacosaurus has feathers, as does non-movie raptor-based Dinobot Slash. So that's two more pros.

Pros: 21
Cons: 10

Make of that what you will.